the bachelor: week 10

welp, here goes nothing for women tell all! i don't think i can compete with dog lover live-tweeting it monday night, but i'll do my best. coming from me, lyss, hannah, and britt...

+ I have never liked Women Tell All before, but I am SO excited for it this seaon.

+ I’ve also never commentated it before, so who knows what is even gonna happen here?

+I just really need all of the bashing on Pigface to happen.

+ Catherine’s bangs are bangin’.

+ ^^haha….

+ Sean got sexually assaulted by a sting ray.

+ So there’s that.

+ The Muppets thing?

+ Why?

+ I’m confused.

+ JuPa walked on and the only thing I wanted to do was kick him in the face.

+ There are always like 3 or 4 girls from the first week or two who no one remembers.

+ BUT FREE SPIRIT AND DOG LOVER AND SHARLEEN ARE BACK AND I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT IT.

+ Piano Biker is back.

+ “Wait, did her voice get a lot more annoying? Oh wait, that’s because WE NEVER HEARD HER TALK.” –Brittney

+ ALL of these girls are friends!

+ And the only two that weren’t friends are the ones left with Juan Pablo….

+Good or bad sign?

+ Everyone knows that Dog Lover is the star of this show.

+ Andi is so right.

+ He was there to go on some dates and maybe find a girlfriend, not find a wife.

+ He’s definitely not ready to settle down. He loves the attention too much.

+ All the girls are several shades darker than they were on the show.

+ And Renee looks HOT.

+ And I really need Cassandra’s lip color.

+ “Pardon my French, but…” –Kat

+ “Why do we say that? Like, I just feel like it’s kind of disrespectful to the French?” –Kelli

+ Dog Lover, reppin’ it front and center.

+ Guys, she has favorited so many of my tweets.

+ And also, I really think that Alyssa and I need to be in the studio audience, but we have no idea how to get there.

+ We’re thinking about tweeting Dog Lover about it.

+ Just feel like she’d be a good source for info.

+ Sharleen is flawless.

+ No, seriously.

+ Like, if she had her own TV show, I would faithfully watch it.

+ And I realize that I might be the only viewer, but I stand by that.

+ Her dress is on point.

+ This entire montage is for Sharleen’s dresses.

+ And seeing her reaction as she had to watch that kiss.

+ BAHA!

+ I NEED HER DRESSES.

+ Ugh! The white one on her last date with him!

+ I neeeeeed.

+ “It’s not just black and white.”

+ Like….a panda?

+ “The little voice was the spirit, Sharleen.” –Kelli

+Have you guys gotten how much I love her? Yeah? Okay, cool.

+ I hope I never have to watch a montage of myself with an ex-boyfriend.

+ WAIT.

+ I REALLY HOPE I NEVER HAVE TO SEE THAT.

+ That sounds like literal HELL.

+ Too lazy to get feminist ranty rn, but y’all know how I feel about Sharleen and JuPa.

+ “What if they did a double bachelorette with Sharleen and Kelly?” –Kelli

+ “Like both of them and a bunch of guys? And then they’re just….sharing?” –Me

+ “YES. Polyandry and polygamy.” –Kelli

+ Fan-Favorite Renee.

+ Like, what would my qualifier be?

+ Everyone over here is voting Night-Time-Nap Kylie.

+ Hannah just made a really good observation--

+ He never really acted like he liked her, just that he liked that she was a mom.

+ TRUE.

+ MID-SENTENCE KISSING.

+ This season’s slow-mo carousel kiss. (see: Emily and Arie.)

+ She said “a whole new world,” and the outburst of song in #classic204 was inevitable.

+ I’m just impressed that we all picked the same key.

+ So most people are like really against a guy asking if they can kiss you and I’m…..not.

+ I can think of so many situations in which that would be a-okay with me.

+ #thesearemyconfessions

+ Kelli and Hannah pointed out that CH’s tie and shirt colors are too close and now it’s bugging me.

+ So we don’t love Andi.

+ At least Kelli and I don’t.

+ But I definitely like her a lot more without Juan Pablo around, so I think there’s promise for next season.

+ I just showed Lyssa this article and she’s just quietly laughing in the corner.

+ Yes, I fake-sleep on every date.

+ “No, I actually sleep on every date.” –Kelli

+ “WAIT THAT WOULD MAKE DATING SO MUCH EASIER.” –Kelli

+ Andi’s hair looks better though.

+ Hannah feels SO uncomfortable about Juan Pablo being on the stage rn.

+ He has no regrets? Really?

+ SOMEONE PLEASE JUNK PUNCH HIM.

+ Like, Sean was perfect and even he said he had regrets.

+ “Oh, they’re going to kill him.” –Kelli

+ Wow, Kelli is vocal tonight.

+ Piano Biker is talking and Brittney goes, “He’s trying so hard to remember who she is.”

+ “I’m not here to kiss 27 women.” –JuPa

+ But, you were here to kiss about 20 of them so….

+ Why is he calling any of these women his “special ones”?

+ WHY HAS NO ONE JUNK PUNCHED HIM?!?

+ I really need Cassandra to be dating her NBA player again.

+ Like, if he says “my special ones” one more time, I’m gonna throw something.

+ Yeah, you should definitely be asking your date the questions that Andi said JuPa never asked her.

+ “I went on a 45 minute bomb date on Friday and I know all of those things about my date.” -Lyss

+ FREE SPIRIT SPEAKS.

+ “She was naked on so much of this show.” –Hannah

+ DOG LOVER SPEAKS.

+ Ooh, and she’s crying....

+ “Say that to me in Spanish, then.”

+ #KELLINGIT

+ Victoria speaks and it’s actually intelligent, which is surprising to us all.

+ UH-SEPT.

+ “Me and my little package.”

+ WE ARE DYING.

+ THERE IS SO MUCH LAUGHTER.

+ This “ees okay” montage is everything.

+ “Both of their pocket squares suck tonight.” –Lyss

+ Okay wow, there are people on Team Clare?

+ Actually, I’m on Team Clare, only because I think Nikki is way too smart for him.

+ Most boring finale promo EVER.

+ Oh my gosh, Free Spirit is jumping on everyone.

+ THEY ARE GROUP HUGGING AND THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.

+ Common enemy, man.
link up

not excited for the finale. it looks boring and i already know what happens. but then we finally get to quit seeing juan pablo's pigface face once a week! woot woot!