okay.

i had every intention of continuing to write in this space. but every time i think about typing something up, i find myself wishing i could write anonymously. i've been so very open with you all, and i don't regret it necessarily, but i keep wishing i had more anonymity in my life. there are things i might write if i didn't know that everyone in my life can read them.

but i do find it important to type something. i have made some amazing connections with people through blogging, and i'm not yet ready to give that up. i also regret not being able to look back over my own posts for the last few weeks and read my own writing like a journal. so i will continue to write, in whatever way my fingers take me. i might get boring. i might be too thoughtful. i might never post pictures. people may not care to read much from me anymore. and that's okay.

i also find it important to tell you all that i'm very much in love with my life right now. for the first time in a long time, i feel perfectly content with exactly where i'm at. i'm not going on a mission. i'm not getting married. i'm not even remotely close to dating anyone. i haven't made many new friends in my ward yet. and that's okay. for the first time in a long time, i feel completely content.

and on top of that, i feel happy. i'm the busiest i've ever been in my college career, but i'm also the happiest. all i really do is go to school, go to work, do homework, study my scriptures, maybe watch some tv or hang out with alyssa, and then go to sleep. but i don't feel like anything is missing. i'm excited to learn, excited to study, and excited to work. and even better, i have confidence that God has put me exactly where i'm supposed to be. i tried very hard to be somewhere other than here, but the prompting came as clear as day over and over again, "kylie, stay right where you are." and so i did. and that's okay. 

i don't know what's coming. i don't know why He needed me to stay in provo, to have the classes that i do, to get the job that i did. in fact, there may never be some neon sign that tells me God's plan, that justifies His prompting.

and that's okay.