hometowns are here! and they were just as disappointing as we expected them to be! enjoy!
brought you by me, hannah, brittney, alyssa, and a little bit of james and dylan.
Nikki's Hometown
+eeeeating with neeeeekki
+The vote is in: a mechanical bull does not make you a cowboy.
+There’s no way she’s actually in love with him.
+There’s also no way her mom’s name is Jennifer.
+She looks way too much like a Kathy.
+Awkward coach vs. first class talk….
+Trying to imagine what this conversation with my mom would look like and I’m just laughing.
+We’ve done a little math and we’ve determined that Kathy is about 48.
+But looks way younger than that, so good on ya!
+Okay so Nikki’s dad is really sweet.
+But he’ll just never be Sean’s dad.
+NO ONE WILL EVER BE SEAN’S DAD.
+Hannah thinks that Nikki’s dad must be a small-town talk show host.
+Or a therapist.
+JuPa’s hands are playing a way bigger part in this episode than they should be.
+HIS GESTURING CAN’T BE TAMED.
+Some hardcore research is going on right now to figure out what’s up with JuPa’s orange bracelet thing.
+We’ve found nothing.
+Anyone know?
Andi's Hometown
+Andi got her hair done.
+I love her and she’s gorgeous, but she should leave the ombre.
+Frankly, it's a little outdated.
+And now that we have JuPa in jeans, we’re color-blocking his shirts instead.
+HIS COLOR-BLOCKING CAN’T BE TAMED.
+Wow, he cannot shoot a gun.
+Andi, just turn 90 degrees to your right, point down, and then fire.
+So yeah, maybe I want her to shoot him.
+But not dangerously or anything.
+Just enough to maim or mildly injure.
+I love that they hate him.
+Like, I love it way too much.
+Wow, we’re just now realizing that she’s only been on ONE one-on-one.
+That’s ridiculous.
+“I want her to UH-SEPT me.”
+THIS IS A LETTER TO ALL MEN EVERYWHERE:
+When someone asks you why you like a girl, you do not say “First, because she’s beautiful.”
+The first reason you like someone should NEVER be because they’re beautiful.
+If you like her, you damn well better like her because she’s smart or funny or caring or creative long before her being beautiful.
+Okay. Letter over.
+Sorry that I cussed.
+Wait, we have to watch them dance again?!
+This is worse than Harry and Hermione.
+WAIT. Her dad’s name is…..Hy?
+……what…..?
+She’s looking for her family to convince her to like him.
+This is so messed up.
+ANDI. GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
+Love her dad so much.
+“If you and Andi choose each other, then of course you would have our blessing.”
+Still not Sean's dad.
+Wow, why have I never been this feminist ranty at the Bachelor before?
+Andi has a stuffy nose.
+That’s not interesting or funny, just a fact.
Renee's Hometown
+“Okay, so she’s wearing a lot more shorts than I thought at first.” -Lyss
+She says she is literally going to eat Ben when she sees him.
+“Cannibalism: Just keep it in the family.” –Lyss
+I’m not crying over her seeing Ben!!!!!
+I’M NOT CRYING.
+Juan Pablo does not deserve the honor of hanging out with these people.
+“It’s my first Little League game!”
+“WHAT?!” –Lyss
+“Wait…I was gonna ask if he was even American but like….” –Lyss
+Why is JuPa wearing coral flip flops and an anklet?
+I want them all to hate him.
+Dude, Renee’s son makes Rainbow Loom bracelets too!
+It’s an epidemic in the elementary school world, trust me on this one.
+Ben is so CUTE!!!!
+“AW! HE PARTS HIS HAIR!” –Britt
+“Like, I’m going to purposefully make my kids look like nerds.” –also Britt
+So she talks to Juan Pablo like she talks to his son.
+But I’m sure her son knows more English than him so…
+Renee deserves SO much better than him!!!!
+She’s just so lonely.
+That has to be the only reason she thinks this could work.
+HE DOESN’T DESERVE YOUR LOVE.
Clare's Hometown
+I am so excited to see what Clare comes from.
+Do you think they’ll all pretend to be pregnant when he shows up?
+PLEASE.
+Wait, I neeeeeeeed that to be a thing.
+Like, so bad.
+There he goes describing a girl as being “beautiful” first again.
+Clare’s dad seems great.
+But still not Sean’s dad great.
+But may he rest in peace.
+Were those ducks or mallards?
+They were HUGE.
+Also, what are mallards?
+Wow, Clare is the baby of this family.
+Her older sisters could literally be my mother.
+K wait, she’s probably older than my mom.
+Also, if she’s the youngest of 6 girls and only one of them is married….what is wrong with them all?!
+No, but really.
+What are their secrets? What are they hiding?
+I need to know.
+So her parents knew each other after for 3 weeks before getting engaged.
+And you all think that’s insane, but like….Lyssa’s parents only took 6 days.
+6 DAYS.
+So.
+This conversation between Clare, the older and most likely unrelated sister, and Momma is equal parts boring and hilarious.
+WHY IS THIS DRAMA EVEN HAPPENING?! THIS DRAMA IS BORING.
+I think that unrelated sister Laura and Des’ brother should get together.
+Guys, remember when we saw Des’ family and we were like, “How did they create her?”
+Same thing happening with Clare’s family.
+Also, is Momma mute?
+Okay wait, she just doesn’t speak English.
+We are only vaguely remembering Clare mentioning something about her family speaking Spanish.
+MOMMA IS MADAM ZERONI.
+OMG.
+I DON'T SMELL ANYTHING.
+Oh my gosh I literally don’t remember a time before this hometown started.
Rose Ceremony that I couldn't care less about
+Okay, why is CH walking them each to the rose ceremony?
+"So I just need to get this far so that I can have this alone time with CH. And then hold his hand on the way there." -Lyss
+Ooh…..for that moment of stone-cold silence between Nikki and Clare.
+#worthit
+This was the most boring episode of hometowns I’ve ever seen.
+GIVE ME FANTASY SUITES OR GIVE ME DEATH.
+Okay so now we’re trying to figure out how old Lyssa’s old coworker Brad is so we could set him up with Renee.
+JUPA IS THE LITERAL WORST.
+Oh my gosh, he is totally drunk at this rose ceremony!
+I have never seen the bachelor be more drunk than the girls!!!!
+This is so exciting!
+Do you think that he drunk-sends Renee home tonight?
+Also, why did they leave Andi and Renee for last when they’ve been showing off Andi on the fantasy suite episode for so long?
+That mistake would not have happened if we were producing.
+Except, you know I love you Elan Gale.
+Please don’t hate me.
+“Is this going to be easier or harder to watch than Sean and Des’ break up?”
+NOTHING WILL EVER BE HARDER TO WATCH THAN THAT.
+Okay wait, we just got really really really emotional about Jef and Emily.
+I really want them to still be in love.
+AGH. I NEED THAT IN MY LIIIIIIIIFE.
+Okay, all Renee needs is to see this show air and she’ll be over him.
+This season is the worst.
+I looooooove that they are showing everyone how JuPa is the bad guy.
that's all folks! this week there were two episodes, so you know what that means....commentary tomorrow night as well! (so excited for this season to be over, so i'm cool with rushing through it.)
I'm just a creep that loves your Bachelor commentary. And I'm dyin' to hear your comments on fantasy suites. Best episode. Ever. Andi for Bachelorette?! My biggest qualms with Bachelor/ette is always how unrealistic it is that every single hopeful on the show is madly in love with the 1 person- always, without fail. And this season we had TWO brave/honest souls. Guess JuPa just has THAT little depth.
ReplyDeleteThanks for creepin'! ;) And yeah, I'm surprised it's taken me this long to see it, but I love how two girls knew exactly what they wanted this season and it was definitely NOT JuPa!
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