we are hardy stock.

thought i'd given up on blogging for good, didn't you?

so did i.

first off, an explanation: my first semester of college sure looks fun from the viewpoint of my blog, but in reality, it was a pretty miserable experience for me. i struggled A LOT with my self-confidence, not making friends, and feeling like i had no one to talk to. i spent way too many nights crying alone in my room, because i just wanted to go home to arizona. kind of dark days, people.

but.

i went home over winter break, figured out who i was again, prayed a whole lot, and knew that i had to make my second semester at byu better than the first. even though i wanted nothing more than to transfer to asu and stay in az forever, i knew that God had sent me to byu for a reason, and i needed to find that reason. so i went back.

and oh my gosh, you guys.

the middle of march found me crying myself to sleep again, but this time it was because my heart was so full of joy and love. there was absolutely no room for sadness in my life. with complete reliance on the Lord, somehow i had turned my life around. i made friends that are going to last a lifetime. i did better in school. i made room in my life for the perpetual smile that i had been missing for so long. and when it came time to come home to my beloved zona for the summer......i didn't want to leave.

the quote above, written over the beautiful spring blossoms of utah that i still can't look at without smiling, came to me at the best time possible.

you guys, sometimes you have to burn to the ground. sometimes things have to really, really suck. sometimes you have to be at absolute rock bottom, with just a sliver of hope left, to be able to appreciate the all-consuming love that can and will follow.

to be continued....