Day 2: Make Peace with your Hair

From November 4th-13th my blog is hosting the experiences of 10 different women through the BYU Women's Services and Resources Recapturing Beauty campaign. Go here or here to read more about the 10-day challenge.

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Day 2 is written by my friend from freshman year Tinesha Zandamela! Tinesha is a junior from Washington State studying Sociology and French and planning to go to Law school after her under-grad. Tinesha is also a feminist activist, and she loves the Pacific Northwest, cheeseburgers, foreign films, and ballet.

When I chose “Making Peace with Your Hair”, I knew it was going to be hard. My relationship with my hair has always been a love-hate affair.

Growing up, all my friends had straight hair. My mother had straight hair. All of my favorite celebrities—Hilary Duff, Raven Symone, Mariah Carey, Britney Spears—had straight or slightly wavy hair. Magazines gave hair tips that I couldn’t make work because my hair was too curly. I envied those who had straight hair. My friends suggested I straighten my hair, and I did. I wanted to be pretty, and straight hair seemed to be part of being beautiful. Five hours later, my hair was fairly straight. Not as straight as my friends’, though. I was disappointed. I kept straightening my hair throughout early high school, using an iron (yes, an actual iron!), feeling disappointed that my hair would never be as beautiful as everyone else’s. I started pulling my hair back, never wearing it out because I was embarrassed about how big and curly it was.

In the past couple of months, I started to wear my hair out all the time. I have embraced my hair because I think having curls is unique and really fun.

And now you’re wondering why I said the challenge was going to be hard, right? I decided to go all natural, that is sans hair products for the entire day. Yeah, I’ve been embracing my hair and wearing it out. But I always always always put product in it to make sure it doesn’t get frizzy or too wild. I’m scared of the way people might perceive me if it’s out of control. Will I look lazy? Will I still be attractive?

Here are my hair products, which cost more than $100 in total value. Just for…hair!

This day, I didn’t wear hair products. And nothing happened—which is good. That means my life still went on. I still got an A on my test, and I still went to meetings and took notes, I still was a good friend when someone called me to vent, and I still ate and exercised. My hair isn’t a representative of who I am. India Arie explains how I felt in her song “I Am Not my Hair”:

Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?

Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend?

Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?

The answer to all three: no, no, and no. I’m still the same. She continues in the song singing—which I was listening to as I took the picture below:

I am not my hair

I am not this skin

I am a soul that lives within.

Do I love my hair now? Yes. I can rock my hair however I want. (I wore it all natural again today!) My hair is beautiful. I am beautiful. But my hair doesn’t determine my worth. I never thought I’d say this, but I love my curly hair. It makes me stand out. It’s become a part of my daily wardrobe. I like to have fun with it and I have realized I don’t always need hair products to show that.

But more than my hair, I love the person that I am, and the person I am becoming. 

 

Yes, I love my hair. But I am not my hair.

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Tomorrow's Challenge: Making Peace with your Face

We want to hear about your experiences as well!
Tweet or Instagram with the hashtag #RecapturingBeauty about your journey over the next 10 days! You can follow @wsrbyu on Instagram and @byuwsr on Twitter, or me at @kylieinthesky on both. Or leave a comment on this blog post.

If you're also blogging about the Body Image Challenge, we want to see it! Add your post below and link back to this one so we can all share this experience together!